A debate is a dance not a war

Adam Grant repeated this saying quite a lot in his book Think Again by Adam Grant. Asking your "discussion partner" for a "dance" instead of "going to war" with him or her is a really nice mental image in my eyes. It puts you into a humble and playful position for the debate or discussion.

Dancing also allows for sidesteps, instead of only being able to fight or retreat. Sidestepping in a debate could be a question, a summary or just a pause.

Adam Grant also coined the term "Intelectual Humility", where we should focus on knowing, what we don't know (already said by Socrates). In a dance, we sometimes don't know every move but we react, lead and go along with our partner instead of stepping on his or her toes all the time.

It's also important to not bring to many "weapons" (arguments) to a debate because Bringing too many arguments to the table can lead to Argument Dilution. It also lets the other person feel persuaded, if you bring more and more arguments. A single argument feels like a conversation—or like a dance.